Pure bright rays straight gliding through my eyes, comfortable warmth reaching below my feet, sounds of people talking and children playing like I have been used to it and the feelings that telling I am safe and I am fine. I see my mother infront of me, Sitting in door balcony. She is knitting something and an urgency of excitement to bother her kept me linger around her shoulder. I am saying something, I don’t remember. I see those green long tail that preserves my eye. Which I am bound to play with it. I know it served my whole 3 years of satisfaction. Without a doubt I still have to remember that favourite toy. Looks like an crocodile but I forgot how it used to run. Aww.. those rooms. I know how it used to be. White not literally white but more like grey plated walls and those beautiful curtains with flower patterns moving so smooth, so light with in those wind like they are where they should be And those little thin carved wood making its place in an ordinary form hiding where it connects. It was certain for kid like me to feel happy and at the same time, simply making no sense but attracted.
More than nostalgia, this memory has washed me again. Living here Nepal since coming from Singapore has been more than 17 years. I was more like 3 and half years to depart my beloved birth place. I knew coming here was inevitable but still I had no intention of leaving it. I remember my mother saying I was shocked to reach Nepal and hearing to not going back and desperately wanting to go back again. While clutching those Ricksaw handle so tight, being stubborn myself. (Haha).
Well certainly time flew in so hurry I have no clue where I have lost these all years. But I am certain a little delay would have changed my life, perhaps, a good life maybe. Nahh. Good, its fine now also but a little more happiness would have brushed me. No I am not complaining exactly or regretting anything that has happened, But maybe a little wishful thought would come to every ones mind. And I am no differ from everyone. But maybe I lament a little for what could have been. If my life hasn’t been this way but at the same time I refuse to think this way too. I wouldn’t have known certain feelings now or befell upon such emotions I learned from the hard times and at least I am conscious and know sagacity for my own goodwill. Yes I don’t regret. Whats done is done. Ya! I am greatful for every thing until now.
They say growing up is not so bad. But maybe they meant not bad as in big bad. For me I wish I could go visit my childhood again and again. Not because of those times in Singapore with beauty but I miss everything like love, sweetness, cheerful joy, long hard laugh, my sisters coolness, their badass style, the meaning of family, togetherness, love of parents, warm care and nothing to prioritize about then food (lol). I miss those times, those beautiful sweet moment. I cant exaggerate even if I want to. This memory is so precious, I wish I could reclaim it. Not just the time or place but everything just like the same. Ya so much for the wish! hah! Who knew something great has been waiting for us. A huge to differentiate our living.
In singapore, as developed and clean as it is now, I do remember people being so civilized and humble to each other. They tend to make things so smooth and prosperous. I was in heaven. And to talk about food, I am still searching for some products here in Nepal to have that taste again. Like yakul. oh damn. Brings back memories. Those tiny cool shape bottle and that amazing taste. Woh. Simple the best! And Mee goreng, who doesnt remember that or know that. But the best thing is we can have that here in Nepal too. Located in jawakhel, lalitpur. At singma restaurant. But don’t expect like an origin. Just to fill its name. And Lots of things can catch me in reminiscent like those foods and make me happy for an hour and looking at those pictures again. Pictures of certain people, I wonder how they have been. Where they must be. Its such a tragedy to see people grow old, mostly the loved ones and the near one. Or the left ones. Thinking they used to be here and do things the way they did, how they spoke. And in some years. Nothing left of them but memories. Who knew childhood would meant so much after getting caught with age. And would have to compromise so much growing up.
I hope for their eternal happiness and wish fruitful life at the times who were there to make my childhood so much lovable and filled up such beautiful moment and there to company me and endured my act. Thank you so much! I had my best childhood memory and Probably there so many things to say and so much thoughts to pour but nothings coming out, hope maybe I will write its part 2(haha) In the future. Cheers to Childhood. Love, Singapore!!